A post on minimalism If movies have taught me one thing it is this: every great relationship experiences fall out. Social media and I are going on a break. In the wake of Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism, I’ve been convicted to address my technology problem. A relationship expert might say my phone and I have a co-dependent power struggle with poorly defined boundaries and exhausting mental maintenance requirements. Here are some examples. Each morning I open my phone for a daily reading. Before I get there, I’ve opened the wrong folder and three other apps. The alert from my weekly screen time report vibrates in my pocket on the second song each Sunday at church. I struggle to refocus. What if it is something else? After too many weeks of fragmented worship I realized I should put my phone on do not disturb when I arrive. If you are curious the data for the last 7 days is 64 pickups and 2 hrs. 17 minutes per day. When I have trouble sleeping I whip out my phone. When I’m bored I whip out my phone. When I’m uncomfortable I whip out my phone. When I don’t know where I am going I whip out my phone. When I have a random thought I whip out my phone. My favorite jeans have a hole worn in the pocket from the number of times my phone goes in and out. It would be more embarrassing to be this honest if I did not see millions with the same affliction. Most of the situations I described are commonplace and there is a cultural bias against people without these issues. In the intro Newport hammered me with this statement, “We added new technologies to the periphery of our experience for minor reasons, then woke one morning to discover that they had colonized the core of our daily life.” The improper relationship with my phone is robbing me of quality stimulation, robbing others of my attention and respect, robbing myself of highly valuable time, and robbing nature of my awe and wonder. It is fragmenting my attention and destroying my focus. These are the hard truths of evaluation and breakup. Let’s get to the good part. My great hope for this breakup is this: if social media and I are meant to be we will rejoin stronger than ever with a clearly defined and healthy relationship. We will live deliberately. To successfully fill my harvested minutes I will be inputting more high ticket activities. Pocket journals, better conversations, quality photos, meaningful projects, home-cooked meals, exercise, poetry, meditation, and prayer. If I exchange half of my pickups for prayers of gratitude there will be immediate side effects of wholesomeness. Garnishing strength from these activities I am confident I'll be capable of integrating social media well, or perhaps living just fine without it. If you have arrived down here, dear reader, I want to encourage you to audit your own technologies. If you live with them deliberately, embrace it. Well done. Technology is a powerful and wonderful tool. If, like me, your phone has begun to own you, then take some real action. Strike at the root. Life is no hollow imitation. It is real, and it is beautiful. Lay your hands on it. Listen to its heart beat. No social media means this blog will be sent out only via email. If you are not already subscribing you can click on the word subscribe below and enter your email to get a weekly update. If you think, “Wow! More people should hear this” and you want to share that would be pretty neat.
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I have not, in specific terms, set forth an intention for the content in this blog. In the beginning I stated my "Why" and set a goal to post weekly. Until now the content has been varied. I've enjoyed posting, and each week has been a new and valuable lesson to me in the reading, writing, learning and evaluating process. Now it is time to focus. It is only fair to you, dear reader, that you enter prepared. My future posts will be in three categories I value. Minimalism Sustainability Joy: rooted in truth These three topics are important to me, and I firmly believe they are important to the human condition. Consumerism, materialism, novelty, and an overwhelming number of options are drowning out the space for humans to connect with each other and with their own values. These things are literally depressing. We are fragmented, bitter, angry, anxious, lonely, disorganized, or disconnected from reality. There is counteraction and hope. Minimalism is letting go and stripping down to arrive at an authentic core, a naked truth. And as we arrive closer to authentic reality we begin to feel the sensations of being alive. This is what minimalism means to me. Sustainability is, intentionally, a broad topic. But, at it's center, sustainability is about longevity and useful life. This is what I am seeking, and what I hope others are seeking. I'd like to be something more than a momentary flame. I want to be a consistent burn spreading goodness and warmth with those around me through perseverance, perspiration, and encouragement. Lastly, I will write about joy rooted in truth and obedience. This type of obedience doesn't look like intolerance, a closed mindset, or dogmatism. Joy from obedience is achieving something by accepting my limitations and following something greater than myself. In this joy I find acceptance, affirmation, intentional living, and purity of emotion. The feeling I receive from a thousand acts of daily courage is what I want to write about. I’ll continue to post weekly through the end of this year on these three topics. You (and I) will receive practical life advice touching more than just a surface level action, but keying into the underlying principle and moral. Good literature, good conversation, strenuous activity, and time outdoors are key factors to this type of content creation. So, I want to commit to you, and to myself, to continue making these things part of my daily life. Finally, dear reader, I want to let you know that for September I will be absent from all social media. This means my links will only be shared via email. If you would like to receive these alerts please subscribe by clicking the bold, underlined word "here" and entering your email address. You will get one email per week with a link to my post. here If you have arrived all the way at the end, thank you. I want to encourage you to examine the factors contributing to your own great content. Like Bob Goff tells us, “figure out what fuels your joy.” What makes you feel present? Write it down. Now do it as many days as you can.
At least half my siblings were openly weeping, myself included, as we waited silently for my dad to continue speaking. In large family fashion we were congregated, some sitting on couches, chairs, armrests, some standing, some swaying back and forth to keep children hushed or sleeping. Early summer sunshine streamed in the living room windows. Commemoration brought us together. Celebration of a finish line. Nine graduated students and nearly 30 years of home education complete.
Each of us gave a small speech, and then Mom and Dad in conclusion were asked “how did you do it?”. Through tears of her own mom conveyed her gratitude and encouraged us to stress less and trust more. And in poignant and simple fashion my father said, “we [your mother and I] were obedient.” This week I finished an encouraging read called “Celebration of Discipline”. The closing chapter is all about joy, and Foster’s words revived this memory. “In the spiritual life only one thing will produce genuine joy, and that is obedience. . .To elicit genuine celebration, obedience must work itself into the ordinary fabric of our daily lives.” The little caveat to joy in the title I have listed is essential. Joy rooted in truth. Joy and happiness are different. This is not news. Happiness is momentary and joy is pervasive. Joy is what all of us intensely desire because it is the genuine, authentic, goodness life has to offer. It is the overflowing of one’s cup. In my life, this definition is how minimalism, and sustainability meld with joy, and it is why obedience is the essential ingredient. In my last post I quoted a leading researcher in “whole-hearted living” who said, abundance is available when we lose a mindset of scarcity. Abundance is attainable by letting go of the striving in a paradoxical effort to be content and in this way experience growth. In Simon Sinek’s case studies in “Start with Why” he reiterates the principle: trust inspires loyalty. In letting go of a desire to control, I position myself in a way where I am more prepared to receive than if I attempted to be manipulative and power hungry. Said another way, the humility to recognize I can never own everything or know everything or be everything or do everything leads to contentment knowing I may miss out, but it will be ok. This is the principle mindset of minimalism, and this is the essence of obedience, because it stems from something deeper than a moment. In all my own vain striving and struggle for power and control I can evaluate my circumstances by submitting my current desire to some overarching value. Obedience necessitates humility and trust. It requires me to put something else above myself. Consistently. Not because I must, but because I want to. Obedience is the lighter burden. A lighter burden we bear up every day. A burden of perseverance to the hard path of vulnerability and faith. In place of this challenge most of us turn to mind-numbing media, to pointing fingers at other people, struggling for power, or just not caring about anything. Most of us means me. Suffering happens, and somehow, I’m tasked with overcoming it and still being vulnerable and still having faith? I would rather put a lid on my cup and avoid all the potential for suffering. But joy is not possible without vulnerability, and vulnerability is not possible without acceptance of our inability to know and control everything, and this acceptance is not possible without humility, and humility is not possible without elevation of something else above the self. Consistently. Even when it is difficult. Subversion and submission are requirements for joy. This week I celebrated the third anniversary of my marriage to a wonderful human. I do not think 3 years makes me a marriage expert, but what I have learned is that marriage is difficult because I’m really good at getting in my own way. It is constant consideration and constant vulnerability. Learning to trust, to release my own shame, to be vulnerable and honest, to accept pain when it comes and healing when it comes, to be less judgmental, to be more patient, and to nurture growth by balancing courage and compassion, these things are endlessly difficult. They require me to be obedient to a vow rooted in love when I want to be selfish and indulge something fleeting. It is easy to seek out comfort and pleasure and to believe these things are joy. It is easy to commit our bodies to hard work and forget about joy. But in fact, these are large gates that are easy to get in to and side step joy altogether. Joy is deep and pervasive. It goes all the way through the body and the mind and into the past and the future. It permeates our sense of being. Happiness, pleasure, comfort, effort and strain, they hit small parts of the body in innocuous ways. They are fleeting gratifications and a partial filling. Joy is the overflowing. Happiness is a conquest. Joy, for me, is waking up in the morning and love rushing in to my heart because I kissed her warm cheek and it started a feeling of adoration coursing through my body and shooting out the toes and fingers and eyes while the all-consuming thought in my brain is, “this gorgeous creature married me?” This type of joy for me runs deep and collides with love and hope and faith. It is what gives me the ability to persist, and to let go and to trust that love is deeper than my striving, it is smarter than my petty attempts to control, it is truer than my shame, it is more powerful than my defensive manipulations, it is humbler and more dedicated than my martyrdom, and it is more graceful than my bitterness. Love exists in the purity of joy, and joy in truth, and truth in this, that whoever should be first shall be last, and whoever shall be great must be humbled, and there is a never-ending stream and faithful guide who, if I should follow in obedience, will fill my cup abundantly. If only I would stop and remove the lid. It is possible to have enough and still grow. It is possible to be content and not complacent. Hang with me and I will explain. Last year I tripped over minimalism in a book and picked it up. Since I was raised in a spirit-filled church I get to “claim things for my life” (Amen). So, I claimed minimalism. My efforts in minimalism were spiritual and physical and proved useful because we ended up moving about 8 months later. I wrote seven posts detailing physical changes and their spiritual repercussions, or perhaps spiritual changes and their physical repercussions. However you want to look at it. After I closed, I felt great about continuing this minimalist path with one nagging exception. At 6-years-old I read a book called “If Everybody Did” by Jo Ann Stover. A thought provoking read on individualism as it relates to social health. 10/10 would recommend. This book is a filter for a lot of my value framing. As I began to believe in minimalism I started imagining a free-market, capitalist economy surviving a minimalist epidemic. What would happen if everybody did? Curiosity led to research, and more research and I am still researching. Macroeconomics is never conclusive. In their theorizing some say the service sector can grow, investment will stay strong but may have lower yields, and there is potential for slow-growth, no growth, and de-growth economies to succeed. I was comforted to know some smart people believe we can live on without rampant consumerism and be economically stable and environmentally sustainable. But still, won’t the entrepreneurial spirit key to American culture fall by the wayside? The answer is no. Minimalism leads to growth. It seems paradoxical but Brene Brown, a researcher and author, in her book “Daring Greatly” lent me language surrounding this concept. Brown says, “The opposite of scarcity is enough. . . and if the opposite of scarcity is enough, then practicing gratitude is how we acknowledge that there’s enough and that we’re enough.” What Brown is saying, is contentment, gratitude, believing in "enough" is the path to a growth mindset instead of an anxious, fixed mindset. Believing in scarce resources generates a feeling of constant worry. And this feeling of constant worry is a sure-fire way for a business, or a person to self-destruct and retract rather than sustain and grow. Here is a real life example . I recently needed to book a hotel. Perusing these sites trying to snag a killer deal I was bombarded with messages saying, “this many people are looking at this” “this many remaining” “BOOK NOW and get THIS PRICE”. This tactic is used all the time to drive sales. Advertisers want to trick me in to thinking I might miss out if I don’t buy right now. But the sweet joy of minimalism is believing “there will be enough”. This is the great difficulty of my generation, we’ve got options and lots of fear about choosing the wrong one and advertisers have sophisticated ways to infiltrate our minds. Billions are spent each year trying to convince us we need things. Very little is spent letting us know we have everything we need. Minimalism in my life is all about understanding I may miss out. And that is OK. I have what I need. My wife is my daily inspiration for simplifying my life. The thing I love most about her is her commitment to being. While most look for masks to wear in different situations, she only knows to be herself. Instead of reaching like a lake across a wide expanse with only a few feet of depth, she is a well. She is concentrated and deep, through and through. What claiming minimalism brings me is a commitment to this single line. It is a lifestyle of select depth and root level adjustment. Instead of medicating, it is eating well and exercising. Instead of hacks and tips; it is a lifestyle change. Instead of organizing masks it’s being genuine in each of my roles. The results I hope for are authenticity, focus, and peace. Closing the tabs on the 100 things pulling at my attention to zero in on the things deserving of my time, space, money, and energy. As a wise commenter posted in response to one of my original minimalism posts, “I’ve heard minimalism is saying no to a lot of things so we can say yes to what truly matters.” This is a growth mindset. This is letting go of "I'm not enough" and opening up to depth and vulnerability. This is enough. Dear Reader, to live out my conviction to become more minimal and achieve sustainable growth I have decided to delete all social media during the month of September. My goal is to focus on having better conversations and greater levels of human interaction. My encouragement to you this week is to examine an area where you feel like you are losing control, and instead of trying to regain control, let it go. Let all the little nagging anxieties and attention seekers fall by the wayside and dive in deep with what really matters. If you want stuff like this delivered to your inbox each week click here. And if you think other people would benefit from reading please share.
It is always a good time to speak about Minimalism. Sometimes I buy the lie, “There are enough people writing about minimalism, sustainability, and following Jesus. It’s tapped out.” But I see ads and chains, and endless waste and brokenness, and I remember there are billions of dollars spent selling us the idea we need more stuff to be happy, or religious, or whole. Contentment will always be a narrow path, and minimalism is an unnatural joy. We cannot stop writing about it. We cannot stop sharing the hope. Recently, I’ve had an influx of positive input. People I respect brought me excellent artifacts and lent me the exact language I’ve been struggling to find. I am going to step aside and let these profound words stand on their own feet. Digital Minimalism--shared by a trusted church leader In this book Cal Newport addresses the misconception we can manage the damaging parts of technology with “tips, tricks, and hacks”. Specifically, he references things like, setting timers, moving the phone across the room at night, deleting apps for a short period of time, and all the other things I have literally done without successfully eradicating the driving thirst created by my hand-held device. These actions make me feel better instead of making me be better. Life change requires depth in place of surface level adjustment. “There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to the one who is striking at the root.” ~from Walden by Henry David Thoreau Newport is going to tell me more about not being controlled by my technology. I am excited and, admittedly, nervous to learn. Technological duplicity is easier than simplicity. But I know minimalism creates space for depth and focus—two things I desperately want. Two things I can have, according to the podcast I reference next. Soul Minimalism--shared by a dedicated sibling In “The Next Right Thing” podcast, Emily P. Freeman starts with an episode called “Soul Minimalism”. Her talk hinges on this statement. “Just like my home, my soul receives frequent input, without frequent output.” She then poses the question, “How am I regularly getting rid of the soul clutter I no longer need? . . difficult conversations, the suspicious glance that someone might give us, the thing we said that we wish we could take back. . . those things are sticky. And they stick in our souls.” She recommends sitting in silence. Creating space to be attentive, and to listen without an agenda. And she invites us to give ourselves permission to do one thing at a time, to reduce our need to do everything at once and replace it with, “the next right thing.” A beautiful and simple invitation to let go of worry and stress and fear. A perfect segue into the next artifact. Celebration of Discipline--shared by a wise friend, relative, coach, and constant example of wisdom In times of need or want or worry it is, for me, easy to cling to things. Anger, bitterness, anxiety, depression, and materialism run easily in and are reluctant to exit. Richard J. Foster introduced me to a simple and profound practice. He called it “palms up, palms down” and it links the body, mentality, and soul posture. “Begin with your palms down as a symbolic indication of your desire to turn over any concerns you may have. . . Whatever it is that weighs on your mind or is a concern to you just say, ‘palms down’. Release it.” Yesterday I palms downed insecurity because I know it is a stepping stone to pride, judgement and the accumulation of negative thought. “Palms downing” insecurity felt more like insurrection than self-deprecation. It’s a freedom, and it side-steps the negative spiral I instigate when I focus on personal weakness. “Palms up.” Here is Foster’s example, “Lord I would like to receive your divine love for John, your peace about the dentist appointment, your patience, your joy.” This exercise is called “centering down.” If you have arrived here, Dear reader, I am going to give you an encouragement. Create time to release. Close the tabs. Let go of the craving and open to the richness of being. You do not have to go and get it. It is already in you. Give it a little bit of space to grow. And now some Birdtalker. “Palms down, palms up.”
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I'm a Hoosier. I like the outdoors. Taxes are my job. I write for a living. This Blog
Writing my way to an adult life of minimalism, sustainability, and joy rooted in Truth. I'm learning, unlearning, and relearning.
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