and other words that bring me JOYHave you been there? Slumped back against a cold wall, incapable of reaching out to someone you love to take their pain away. Sitting silently, helplessly, while they struggle with their demons. Praying with all your might that just your presence is enough to push them through a season. Have you been the one lying in the quiet of the dark questioning your worth? Have you begged for an answer or a sign? Have you stood familiarly in the place where emotion goes numb and nothing seems to matter but the ability to breathe? Have you held a hand full of boiling anger while you hurl baseballs at a chain link fence, tears streaming down your face, with no explanation? Have you sat in a torrential downpour feeling rain beat heavy against your skin wondering what you said, what you did, what you should have done and if you’ll ever be the person you want to be? Have you looked in the mirror and felt shame? Have you felt the sting of loneliness and sought the wrong cure? Have you tried to meet an expectation and come up short? Have you felt rejection? Real, true and honest rejection. The kind you can’t blame or explain away. The kind that shows up like an old friend you hoped you'd never see again. Have you been there? Me too. And in these times when I feel utterly lost, alone, confused and angry, the inertia of my life starts to build. And as it builds I am less and less confident in my ability to be effective or responsible. I seldom catch these feelings of lostness and aloneness and confusion and anger before they start to tear a destructive path through my life. And even when I uncover them they are a challenge to reverse. I need words to make them stop. To reverse them. To overcome them. I need words to take in and words to spill out. And today the word is "Therefore,". I read it today, and it was an instant milestone, a minute I'll point to and say, "right then the thing happened that made the difference." Here is context: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Therefore is a pivot word. It means, in light of these facts, or as a consequence of. All the words prior to this pivot word are tales of righteous people who chose to make a decision for a long-term instead of immediate reward. Stories are recounted of humans who threw off kingship to be among slaves, people who made themselves vulnerable because they believed in a promise, people who made unpopular choices and suffered ridicule, and very real and tangible consequence for choosing faith. These people had faith in the unseen and they were clinging to a belief in righteousness, when all around them wickedness earned instantaneous and tangible reward. The author proceeds, after telling stories of people who accomplished unfathomable feats in the midst of difficulty with the word Therefore. And that is a joyful and terrifying word. Therefore, is my invitation. It is the great and glorious promise to the Christ-follower and it is the synopsis of the Bible. The author says, "Look at these stories. Look at the themes. Now let that encourage you to go do." Therefore is a big ask. Maybe not even an ask. More like a command to step out in faith and believe goodness prevails even if it is unseen--even when it means there may be suffering attached. Therefore means "keep going and have faith God will help". Have faith to remember the why when it seems the darkness is closing all around. Have faith to lie on the ground staring at the stars and believe the will of God is not understandable, but it is good. Have faith that, "I am that I am" is enough. Rest securely in the hand of God knowing he provides. This is my faith, that there is joy in my future and residing within me is a will to persist. And always I am seeking him and turning towards him and knowing more and more the unfathomable nature of my father, my creator, and my Lord. Who, by his great grace, endured the cross and took on my sin. By his great wisdom gifted me the Holy Spirit to alight my soul with hope and knowledge that, even in my fear and failure, in my despair and striving, in my utter lostness, when I drop to my knees and seek him He will respond with resounding voice like quiet snow drifting on a dark night, "Keep going." And I am restored. The Grower of Trees, the gardener, the man born to farming, Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Author
I'm a Hoosier. I like the outdoors. Taxes are my job. I write for a living. This Blog
Writing my way to an adult life of minimalism, sustainability, and joy rooted in Truth. I'm learning, unlearning, and relearning.
Categories
All
Archives
August 2021
|